A New Old Post from Substack in 2024 from an op-ed piece in 'The Forward,' 2022

Kent State Remembered..May 4, 1970- 55 years Ago.

Today, in 2025, college campuses are the scenes of mass killings, not by military or law enforcement, but by homegrown terrorists, and a country so divided that there are numerous mass shootings each year, with the average being almost two per day.

This weekend will be the 55th anniversary of the shootings at Kent State. The killings have both a personal effect; Jeffrey Miller graduated from my high school with my brother, and his mom Elaine Miller Holstein wrote the forward to my book on Erica; and a historical one, as today's college campuses are rife with protests and chaos and it could happen again. Sunday, let us remember Jeffrey, William Schroeder, Allison Krause, and Sandra Scheuer.

https://forward.com/culture/445257/why-we-must-remember-the-martyrs-of-kent-state/

Foreword to my 2010 and 2017 book, “A Life Undone: A Father’s Journey Through Loss,” by Elaine Miller Holstein, mother of slain Kent State University student Jeffrey Miller.

“Towards the end of February, I was connected to Barry through a mutual link of former teachers and students from Plainview, New York. When I researched further, I came to realize, we both shared the loss of a child, and both tragically in the beginning of what would have been wonderful lives. 40 years ago, on May 4, 1970, I lost my son, Jeffrey, who, along with three of his fellow classmates was shot to death by the Ohio National Guard in what has become one of the darkest episodes in our short history. In that thirteen-second burst of gunfire, nine other students were also wounded. They were protesting the Vietnam War and had been brought up to believe that they were guaranteed the right of free speech and could safely voice their objections to a war that they felt deeply was wrong. No one thought that those freedoms which made our country “special” could be taken away so abruptly.

Barry sent me a final draft of his book and as I read it, I came to understand that while loss affects us in so many different ways, there is indeed no “garden variety of death.” I “spent the weekend” with Barry, Erica and their many friends and family members and I felt I came to know them all so well.

Certain things stood out—saying that he had no one to be angry at - it was a car accident - nobody to blame. I’m not sure whether I was torn apart or somehow sustained by my fury - I had so many people to blame. I focused on Richard Nixon as the main culprit for his creating an atmosphere that permitted a branch of our government to shoot at unarmed students. From the opening anecdote about Itzhak Perlman, all the way to this past December, his openness and honesty let me in - into his mind and heart and emotions - and, inevitably made me play back my own similar but different story. I was forever moved. I wasn’t sure if I was mourning for Erica (or Jeff) or for him (or me).

A Life Undone exposed the commonalities and the differences we share. I’m grateful to Barry for pulling no punches since I, too, went through some of those worrisome teenage times. His awareness that people were pointing him out as “the guy, whose daughter was killed,” Oh yes, I remember that very well. And I shared the resentment toward the people who weren’t there for us, who either avoided me or said some of those insensitive things he mentions.

We both ‘mourned’ over those close to us who just didn’t know how to find the words we needed them to say. I suspect we are both not quite over that yet. A Life Undone is truly a celebration of sorts. It has helped me recognize the moments of joy in Jeffrey’s short life and Erica’s as well and I know this will be an inspiration to others.

There are the moments of clarity, acceptance, resignation, anger and loss we all share and if it’s possible to take this story and make our own time on earth that much more valuable and one to be cherished, then our children will not have died in vain.”

-Elaine Miller Holstein, March 1, 2010