A Substack Twofer: Aging and Observational Annoyance.

Aging doesn’t suck, It’s real

I spoke to a friend the other day and they spoke about their recent surgery. Yeah. Shit happens and it’s not bad shit, it’s real shit. But their attitude was one of acceptance, not resignation. But some shit also has cures.

At 71, I do not understand why people are so uptight about aging. There is physical aging and there is intellectual aging and one is not related to the other.

It is often difficult to accept that we get older. It’s part of the process. And somewhere in that, is our sociological views on what aging is.

I look at many in today’s generation and at the risk of the guy who yells ‘get off of my lawn,’ I have great anxiety and yes, pessimism, about how they create their values and guardrails.

We have a generation that believes appearance takes precedence over values. I see it every day on FB, and TikTok, where posing in a thong is how people identify themselves. The difference is what many of us did in our youth is lost forever, except in memories. Today’s things we do in youth stay forever. Kinda like herpes. Not that I have had it. Ok. Now all the people are going to beat me up for herpes-shaming. (Is that even a thing?)

It's about self-image. Lousy self-image and little support from friends, family. It is also perpetuated by media and societal norms,where the guard rails are non-existent or so lax, that anything goes.

Years ago, jeans and other fashion companies heralded the emaciated, anorexic look as being stylish. But people died from it. A desire to be thin or a manifestation of some inner turmoil

Or on the reverse side, a desire to be voluptuous, to stay young, to think they needed it to keep working, to be accepted.

The pressure to stay youthful carries a heavy toll, and while there are many successes, the failures carry a heavy price.

Observational Annoyance

Often, when we see something that sets us off, most people would say: “why do you care? It’s not affecting you.”

And they are correct. Sometimes, we get annoyed because of no other reason than to aggravate ourselves, knowing full well our comments will have no effect.

So, I have adopted something I call “Observational annoyance” or ON. It’s something I shake my head at but have vowed not to be consumed by it.

ON: This guy who goes to the local deli I patronize. He may have taken one year of Spanish or worked with Spanish-speaking people, but every time he comes in, he speaks Spanish to the mostly Mexican staff, and they humor him. He is not one of them, has no understanding of who they are. Just like Charlie the Tuna who played violin; it was about tasting good, not so-called-good taste or in this case, patronizing someone else.

ON: A guy I know who has the best mechanic in the world. Never mind I have asked around because this guy KNOWS the best! No, he doesn’t, just like he doesn’t necessarily have a better haircutter, physician, or electrician. Trust me. If I need a suggestion, I will ask around but trust that I am smart enough to do due diligence and vet people tasked with important things in my life. I don’t need a guy who’s got a guy who knows a guy.

ON: What’s with the ‘fist bump, or FB?’ Are people afraid to spread germs or are they just casually disconnected? A ‘gentleman’s handshake’ built countries, industries, and companies and it still was a way of showing respect. I see it mostly adopted by people in their 50s-80s, as a sign of hipness, not any real connection. Shaking a hand is still fashionable; at least it is with me. Younger generations tend to be big users of the FB. I get it. Different times, different salutations but it conveys style. You can get a lot further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word. Ok. Maybe a bad example but while the phrase ‘brother’ initially conveyed harmony and humanity, no suburban kid has the right to co-opt ‘bro’ or refer to his friends as his ‘peeps or posse.’ What about ‘my brother from another mother?” Don’t get me started.

ON: I feel the same way about some handicap stickers as I do with therapy pets, which I spoke of in an earlier column. Two people to blame: the ones who hand out stickers like candy and the ones who demand them. In tony Scottsdale, as I’m sure in just about every suburb in the world, the fire lanes are seen as drop-off and waiting zones. No! Let’s hope there is no fire. Amex had a popular campaign in the 80s, ‘Membership has its privileges.” It means you have certain benefits, not that you are privileged. It’s like using a paid sick day to play golf. It’s abusing an accommodation and taking it away from people who need it.

So, there you have it. My musings for the day are pretty bland but they are my thoughts and damn it, I’m writing about it.

Have a blessed day.