It’s that time of year when we get all those wonderful cards/emails with an addendum as to the highlights in people’s lives. They usually have to do with ‘kids growing like weeds,’ or ‘Scotty placed second in his intramural soccer league,’ or ‘Howard lost weight and is now back down to when I first met him.’
To those heartwarming messages, I say ‘bah! Humbug.” No, not really. Though we have no kids here, our year has been equally exciting.
Our youngest pup, Hammy continues to poop in the house which is why travertine and wood is the best kind to have on the floor. Cleans right up.
Kugel had a UTI which is odd for a dog but since we are big fans of Ocean Spray, which is NOT owned by a big conglomerate but rather a cooperative of the 700 cranberry farmers in America, he was better in no time. He did demand, however; it be served to him in a Cosmo.
We went on two amazing trips this year. Iceland in July during a record-breaking heat wave here in Arizona. to be honest, we knew nothing about the country but chose it because it had ‘ICE’ in the name and figured it’d be cooler than Scottsdale.
Our trip to Antarctica was beyond words. Hope and I almost divorced in 2019 when we kayaked in Alaska, and she yelled that I was barking directions and hit her with the paddle. We tried it again last month among the glaciers and they say history repeats itself. Imagine our surprise when the expedition staffer behind us, paddled up and said: “Were you guys on the kayak trip in Alaska in 2019? Barry and Hope, right? I remember you!” TRUE. We managed to pollute the pristine waters of the ocean on two continents.
During our trip, the dog sitter’s friend went to turn on the heater for the spa and found the pilot didn’t light. He opened it up and found the reason. A live rattlesnake had crawled in and found a haven. He killed it but saved it and now Hope has a beautiful rattlesnake skin handbag to go with her LV wallet.
I’m wrapping up my second year as a Substack columnist, continuing to rouse the rabble, which fits nicely with my tagline: Barry Kluger: Pissing Off People since 1953.”
I am continuing my cooking passion and bought a really big air fryer which has taken over most of the space. I showed Hope where the kitchen was. Next week, I’ll point out the bedroom.
My 92-year-old mother-in-law and her 81-year-old boy toy moved into a very fancy independent living place less than a mile away. We visit them often except on the nights when they host Naked Mah-Jong.
My brother-in-law Jeff and sister-in-law Lori continue to be among our closest friends. It’s less that we adore them as most people don’t like us, so it’s a perfect match.
My nephew Aidan is engaged to a great person, Jenna and she is wonderful to Aidan’s son, Jackson. He goes skiing with Hope every February and is reluctant to invite Jenna and Jackson in two months because it means he’d have to pay for them.
Nephew Cutler is excelling at his job teaching kids with special needs but still can’t understand why ‘Mamma Mia 1 and 2” are among my favorite movies. I guess I won’t mention ‘Love Actually’ or ‘Barbie.’
On my side, Brother Alan continues to choose his battles in court while he and his wife Amy continue to increase their art collection. He disagrees with my belief that ‘Four Dogs Playing Poker’ is art at its finest, but he finally admitted I am the better-looking and more creative of the two.
Niece Lisa, husband Todd, and kiddies Moses and Dagny continue to impress and build a nice life and they like us! No accounting for taste these days.
Nephew Jesse got married over Thanksgiving to a wonderful woman, we have yet to meet. However, we are concerned after meeting us, we will never hear from them again.
I am finishing my first year as a volunteer Navigator at Phoenix Airport and it has been a hoot. I was reported though during my shift during Superbowl weekend when a rather attractive traveler was wearing a jersey that said ‘Giants.’ I smiled and said: “They certainly are!” My probation is expected to end on the first anniversary of my comment.
And I can tell you, in our desert landscape, the weeds are growing like weeds. I guess that’s what weeds do.
In all seriousness, I have a wife I love, respect, and appreciate every day. And it’s not just because I cook, clean, paint, and fix things around the house. It’s ONLY because I cook, clean, paint, and fix things around the house.
So this has been life at the Kirsch-Kluger household. It has been fun and full of joy. When you balance the ups and downs, it’s the ups that keep us going and being optimistic that get us through the days.
We will catch up again about a year from now, after the election. We hope you’ll come to visit us in either Portugal or Costa Rica.
Thanks for the sharing yours and Hope's life with us! Here's wishing you both (and the fur babies of course) a wonderful 2024 and please keep the optimism going. We need it! Me gusta Costa Rica tambien. :-)
No comments about your HS reunion? I thought that would open the door for sure!