There But For......

About 15 years ago, while a regular columnist for the Arizona Republic, Scottsdale section, I wrote about the ‘invisible’ people in our lives; the waiter, the busboy, the trash collector, and others.

I also wrote about those with disabilities whom people side-step, lest they or their kids be affected. They are the people we don’t see.

They say: ‘A good deed is not a good deed if you tell someone.” Translation is: you want to be recognized for your efforts and may not be totally altruistic.

I would argue, when we talk about what we do, we lead by example. If people see what we try and do, they may try and do the same.

A few weeks ago, I loaded 40 bottles of water from Costco, destined for my home. Instead, I thought: someone else needs these more.

So, on my twice-weekly trips to/from the airport, I decided to take the surface roads instead of the highway, knowing I would run into people who needed water in this heat. Yeah, the people on the side of the road, needing money or yes, sometimes pretending they needed money.

While there may be a sucker born every minute, sometimes, it is a scam. And when they have a dog with them, well, it tugs at your heartstrings. But the truth is, they are not heading back to a Scottsdale villa so we give them the benefit of the doubt.

There are invisibles everywhere.

At the airport, they are the cleaners, the wheelchair pushers, the skycaps (or what is left of this thing of the past) and the store salespeople. If you don’t need them, they are ignored.

I try and raise the bar. I know many of these folks by not only sight, but by name, and they know mine. I say good morning to them all, and while surprised to be ‘seen,’ they are grateful. And why shouldn’t they be treated well?

We learned in history about caste systems and their history in India. We have had these since 1620.

I have been guilty of seeing some as ‘not there,’ but for the past few decades, I have tried to be better, but NOT better than them.

People often do not know how to approach people with special needs. Unless they know someone with the (dis) ability, they just are not familiar.

There is a young man for whom I have been the go-to Navigator at the airport, seeing him monthly as he is dropped off by his mom, for a flight to see his dad. He recognizes me, though we don’t communicate, at least in a way we are all used to. He is autistic, and having learned a lot through my wife’s work and personal experiences, he is not invisible to me nor to the airline and gate agents who know him well.

Kindness and recognition is easy. We are all capable of it if we pause and think about how fortunate we may be and acknowledge those who are not as fortunate.

They deserve a hello, a nod, a good morning, and a thank you. It’s not that hard. Give it a try.