I have always wanted to be a kept man. For years, my exciting corporate life overshadowed my wife Hope's and while she enjoyed the regimen of concerts, business trips, and the like, she was, at that time, The Spouse. Well, the tables really turned last week when we got a thank you note addressed to us under her last name, which is different than mine.
I had arrived. I was now The Spouse, or as I like to think of myself, The Spice. I recall an event we went to once for an organization Hope is on the Board of and there I was, hanging by the pool with the other moms and dads, talking about cooking, shopping, and what it’s like to be the wind beneath their wings.
Arizona is a funny place where I have met tons of men who toss on a Tommy Bahama t-shirt in the morning, convene at a local Starbucks or cigar store and solve the problems of the world while our spouses toil in an office, checking our watches to ensure we are home, with dinner on the table and the house clean so we can massage our wives feet when they walk in the door.
Last week, I saw an amazing pair of Cole Haans on line I just had to have. If you’ve ever seen a pair of shoes that absolutely go with a new Robert Graham or English Laundry shirt, this was it. I called Hope at the office but she was on a client conference call and I know how she hates when I disturb her during the day, so I bit the bullet, bought the loafers, and hid them in the closet when I got home.
I was chatting with Kim, my hair stylist, while sipping a Latte about how roles have changed and what it is like to no longer be the king of my castle. As Monica was filing my nails and I was debating over how shiny a clear polish I would like, I mentioned to my friend Jim across the way, that I was off to Michael’s Crafts Store to pick up some gold leaf for a pot I was refinishing at home. It’s amazing how much you can learn while holding your hands under the ultraviolet dryers. Did you know that the bleach goes in the center canister of the washer rather than directly on the clothes, preventing the load from looking like a Led Zeppelin Tie Dye festival? I do now.
When I got home, there was a list of people to call to make social plans over the next months. I phoned friends to make sure the second Saturday in July was good for dinner. I accessed my wife’s calendar to confirm that weekend was clear and I proceeded to organize our date book.
I look with pride at my wife’s legal successes over the past 28 years and wonder why it took so long for that glass ceiling to be broken. (Tomorrow, I am off to the county court to watch in action as a sitting Judge.)
Hope came home that night and asked me how my day was. I thought “what a gal!” Here she put in a 12-hour day and she asked ME what I did. I told her I went shopping and she asked if I bought anything.
As she sat at the kitchen table, sipping her usual Rombauer, I wistfully gazed at my breadwinner, thinking am I lucky or what?
We went to bed that night and when I knew she was asleep, I snuck into the closet and took my new shoes out of the bag and knew that she would think I did well. I know money doesn’t grow on trees but being a spouse is hard work. But I know she appreciates me. In fact, I’m thinking in about a month or so, I may just tell her what I bought.
I love love love this article and it’s not because it’s about me. Well, maybe just a little. But I love our life and I love this article and I love you
I love this! And you know Hope is my hero! Having followed your house husbandry activities--cooking healthy and delicious meals, repairs, decorating, finding the most wonderful "little extras" to make your house a home--I'm sure Hope appreciates all you do the same as you root for her in all of her amazing achievements ❤️